Lonest Earth

Understand the title? Nope? Try rearranging the letters..

Now? Do you understand it?

-- LONEST EARTH = STOLEN HEART --

there are many things in life which are unexplained. Most of these strange things are not meant to be understood for they lead us to much pain. Things are just best left untampered. Because once you've ruined that perfect oppurtunity, there's no turning back. In my life, i've seen so many pain and suffering, and worse, i've also felt them. They are not merely brought by shallow upbrings but by the twisted nature of my selfish desires.

There's this story, a princess was given the oppurtunity to choose:

1. Give up the one she loved for another lady

2. Let her loved one die than to marry another woman.

These are the sort of questions that cannot be answered by a simple 1 or 2. It is by mere selfless action and the drive to love that will make the decision best.

I've really learned something from this and i hope you too...

Black Light

The coldness of the air.. the lights flashing in the sky... truly... it is new year... As they say, it's the start of something new. Would you believe that it has been a whole year since you last lit up a fire cracker? It's filled with fun.. joy.. and lots of excitement.. but at what cost??

Excited pa tayo lahat... patalon-talon na parang gagu na umaasang tatangkad. Wala! Wala na yang pag-asa! Pero bakit kaya tayo ganun mga pilipino? Na kahit anong kasama ng kundisyon, tumatawa pa rin. Yung tipong... naghuhulugan na ang iyong mga daliri sa kakagamit ng fire works ay ngingiti pa at sasabihing, "K lng yan... may isa pa naman akong kamay" :-/. Haay... pero hindi natin ma-eexpect ung susunod na mangyayari...

_-_ To be Continued _-_

Truth. Lies. Pain.

Probably you have already heard one of my favorite lines, "Is it possible to break what has already been broken? Especially when it is.... a heart?" You might be wondering what this means. So here I am now to tell you everything about my life.

Love, the sweetest cure to one's emptiness yet the poison to one's trust. How could I fall easily in its trap? Sa simula, bibigyan ka nito ng ligaya na para bang lahat ay makakaya basta makita lang siya. Hindi mo na alam kung anong gagawin mo kapag wala siya. Wala ka nang inatupag kung hindi siya. Sounds familiar? Well, the first step of love is "illusion". At first, you'll feel a bit mushy with your feelings and start to act inversely to what you normally do. You start believing that there is hope but instead lead you to chaos.

It's something you can't control yet changes you completely. But after everything you have done, the second stage of love happens, misconcepcion. Ito ang simula ng pagdededmahan ninyo. Para bang masusunog kayo kapag nag-usap. Dito magsisimula ang sakit. Iniisip niya man na parang baliwala ay mabigat ito sa iyong puso. Nagkakaroon nang layuan dahil shocked kayo. Your world starts to tremble before your very eyes.

The last stage of love and probably the most popular one is, denial. You deny everything that you said and deny even falling into love's trap. You deny the truth and start to believe that you're just dreaming. Well, reality check, this is not a dream. In fact, it might be the start of your worst nightmare.

So... how does this relate to the line?

I guess you might say i'm overacting the situation. You might think that i'm just looking for an opputunity to deceive an innocent lady. But i can tell you one thing... "i've never asked for love to torment me, it chose me to be tormented." And if i must face this tragic fate then i'd rather live a single second than break my heart a thousand times.

Confessions

The persistence of time should be followed strictly by love but I guess it just wouldn't listen. Why am I forced to feel yet the same misery that I have undergone months ago. It may have been but only one year but why do I still have to accept the pain? Why?!

Nahihirapan na ako mabuhay sa isang mundong punong-puno ng mga taong walang galang sa sarili. Ayoko nang manatili sa isang lipon ng mga taong tila patuloy na nagiging sagabal sa aking pakikisalamuha sa ibang tao. Simpleng ka-cornihan lang ay kailangan pa bang imudmod sa mukha? Ayoko naman mangontra kasi lalo ka pang babarahin at sabihing pikon pa ako. Sigruo nga pikon ako pero dahilan ba iyon para laitin ang aking pagkatao? Sino bang ayaw maasar?

While the days pass, I become weaker and those who opress me become much worse. It is not that they are wrethced, it is just that they don't understand me. They underestimate how sensitive I am. They don't even know why I became so sensitive. Now is the perfect oppurtunity to tell you all who are curious: When I was a grade schooler I wasn't like the other kids who had great social skills. I was a roque but not that kind of a rogue who was mean and unruly. I was more like a loner. I admit that I had no actual best friends. I was even made fun of by other people... everyday. I guess you'd say that i'm exaggerating. But if i was exaggerating, I would say they tried to kill me with their own hands. But i'm not... and that's why it's so hard to accept the past. Until I grew, I had no best friends. They never became too close to me for them to know me better and it hurts to see them meet new friends and forget all about me. Until my sophomore years, I don't have any best friends because until this year, they simply leave. I tried living alone but I simply cannot.

That's why I grow angry easily, that's why I say harsh words... THAT's why I try so hard to find real friends that'd keep me. and that's why I am alone...

Pauling Link